The Simple Joys of Maidenhood letra

Where the exit-door leads in
He scrutinises circling clockwise
Counting two out of the three
Slightly above the first degree

"Has there been blood?"
He asks politely as once a year we do explore
With my head resting on the pillow
Gateways towards, Plutonian shores

Some are caused by downward pressure
So don't strain when opening bowels
The simple joys of maidenhood
The red-eyed fox is on the prowl

Rubber-bands for arteries
These Indian seeds do soak like flees
Reduce the use of salts and lose some weight
walk half an hour every day

I openly dislike your vagueness
In handling hours we appoint
But when you choose your pronouns rightly
I do silently rejoice

Some are caused by downward pressure
So don't strain when opening bowels
The simple joys of maidenhood
The red-eyed fox is on the prowl

So listen closely girls and boys
This song is about haemorrhoids
Not anyone's but mine of course
A secret part I now disclose

Sopor Aeternus - Letras

• Little Dead Boy
• 20.000 Leagues Under The Sea (Or The History Of Steampunk)
• A Dream Within a Dream
• A Little Bar Of Soap
• A National Acrobat (By Black Sabbath)
• A Strange Thing To Say
• Abschied
• Across The Bridge
• All good Things are Eleven
• Alone (The Innocence of Devils) 1
• Alone Ii
• Always within the hour
• An Die Sterne
• An Die Sterne Tradução
• and Bringer Of Sadness
• Angel Of The Golden Fountain
• Anima I & II
• Architecture II
• As Flores do Mal
• At The Stroke Of Midnight Gently
• Autodestructive State
• Backbone Practise
• Bang-Bang
• Baptisma
• Beautiful
• Beautiful Thorn
• Beyond The Wall Of Sleep
• Birth - Fiendish Figuration
• Bis Zum Hahnenschrei
• Bitter-sweet
• Black Magic Spell
• Burial Ground
• Cage Within A Cage
• Carnival of Souls
• Children Of The Corn
• Cold
• Collision
• Consider this: the true Meaning of Love
• Consolatrix Has Left The Building
• Cornflowers
• Cornucopia D'amour
• Dark Delight
• Day Of The Dead
• Dead Souls
• Deathhouse
• Der See Des Vergessens
• Die Bruderschaft Des Schmerzes
• Die Knochenblume
• Die Stimme Im Sturm
• Dio N'arap
• Do You Know About The Water Of Life
• Do You Know My Name?
• Do You Know My Name? / What Has Happened While We Slept?
• Drama Der Geschlechtslosigkeit
• Dreamland
• Ein Freundlich’ Wort Einst Unverhofft
• Ein Freundliches Wort Hat Meine Seele Berührt
• Eldorado
• Epitaph
• Everything Is An Illusion
• Existence
• Feed The Birds
• Feralia Genitalia (Arrival Of The Jugglers)
• Fire Kissed The Echo Twins
• Flesh Crucifix
• Flowers for the God .
• Freitod-Phantasien
• Gebet: an die Glücklichen Eroberer
• Goodbye
• Hades "Pluton"
• Hearse-shaped Basins Of Darkest Matter
• Hello
• Helvetia Sexualis
• Holding Out For a Hero
• Holy Water Moonlight
• I Am Done With Men
• I Am So Glad It's Over
• I Don't Believe In Ghosts
• I Fell For One (Who Loved Me Not)
• Ich Wollte Hinaus In Den Garten
• Idleness & Consequence
• If I Could Go Back In Time
• If Loneliness Was All
• If You Could Only Read My Mind
• Im Garten Des Nichts (A Secret Light In The Garden Of My Void)
• Imhotep
• In An Hour Darkly
• In Der Palästra
• Infant
• Inschrift/Epitaph
• Interlude - The Quiet Earth
• It Is Safe To Sleep Alone
• It's Just That My Sadness
• La Mort D'Arthur
• La Prima Vez
• Lament / Totenklage
• Leeches & Deception
• Les Fleurs du Mal
• Let Me Say It Now
• Lied Der Todesfee
• Light In The Attic
• Little Velveteen Knight
• May I Kiss Your Wound?
• Memalon
• Memories Are Haunted Places
• Miniature
• Minnesang
• Minotaur
• Modela Est
• Mourning
• Nightbreed
• No-one Is There
• Not Dead But Dying
• Oh, Chimney Sweep
• Omen Sinistrum
• On Satur(n)days We Used To Sleep
• One Day My Prince Will Come
• Only The Dead In The Mist
• Penance & Pain
• Poison
• Polishing Silver
• Powder
• Psychoplastic Experience
• Reprise
• Résumé
• Saltatio Crudelitatis (Der Tanz Der Grausamkeit)
• Saturn Devouring His Children
• Saturn Rising
• Saturn-Impressionen (Jusa, Jusa)
• Schattengesang
• Schwarzer Spiegel
• Shadowsphere
• Shadowsphere II
• Shave, If You Love Me
• Sieh', Mein Geliebter, Hier Hab' Ich Gift
• Sister of Selfdestruction.
• Sleep
• Some Men Are Like Chocolate
• Something Wicked This Way Comes...
• Somnambulist's Secret Bardo-life
• Sopor Fratrem Mortis Est
• Soror Sui Excidium
• Spellbound
• Stake Of My Soul
• Starlight Seen Through Veils Of Tears
• Sternblumennacht
• Synchronicity
• Tabor C'alan O'itana
• Tabor C'alan O'itana.
• Tales From The Inverted Womb
• Tanz Der Grausamkeit
• The Boy Has Built a Catacomb
• The Broken & Shattered Moon
• The City In The Sea
• The Conqueror Worm
• The Curse Of The Mummy
• The Devil's Instrument
• The Devils' s Instrument.
• The Dog Burial
• The Dreadful Mirror
• The Encoded Cloister
• The Feast Of Blood
• The Goat
• The Haunted Palace
• The Hours Of Sadness
• The Inexperienced Spiral Traveller (A Fragment)
• The Lion's Promise
• The Simple Joys of Maidenhood
• The Skeletal Garden
• The Sleeper
• The Urine Song
• The Virgin Queen
• The Void
• The Widow's Dream
• There Was A Country By The Sea
• This Profane Finality
• Through Your Eyes
• Time Stands Still... (...But Stops For No-one)
• To A Loyal Friend
• To Walk Behind The Rows
• Todeswunsch
• Totenlicht
• Transfiguration
• Über Den Fluss
• Untitled I
• Untitled II
• Va(r)nitas, Vanitas... (...omnia Vanitas)
• Von der Einfalt
• We Have A Dog To Exercise
• When You Love A Man
• Where The Ancient Laurel Grows
• Where The End Begins
• You Cannot Make Him Love You